1 year ago today

Valentine's Day. 

In the click of an email, our lives changed forever.

What a blessing you are, sweet LuLu Mei.

I will never forget the millisecond I saw her precious face - those soulful eyes, beautiful lips and daddy's hairline, to boot. I knew. My heart sank. I wept silently at my desk. It was such an overwhelming sense of peace and clarity. And we weren't even looking for it!

Our family was "complete". But, you knew differently. Praise the Lord.

How perfect that you appeared in our hearts on Valentine's Day? Meant to be. 

My sweet girl, you are such a hoot! You are beautiful, feisty, smart, loving, funny and ohhhh so playful and rotten. What a gift to watch your growth over the last 3 1/2 months. Your trust, strength and determination are awe inspiring. How blessed we are by your presence, laughter and love. Happy Valentine's Day and 1 year referral anniversary, my forever love.

The question I am most often asked now, "Are you done?". 

Honestly, I would adopt 100 more, if we could. The joy and love that each of my children has brought is beyond immeasurable. To the moon and back, doesn't seem enough.

Every child deserves a family. An institution or foster care, no matter how loving, is not a substitute for a forever family. 

In many regards, international adoption is failing. All too often, the process is marred by greed and corruption. Countries are shutting down (and perhaps rightfully so)...but, the plight of these precious children still exists. Our world is experiencing the highest level of need ever, yet the fewest adoptions in 15 years.

Adoption is expensive. The paperwork is time-consuming, invasive and overwhelming. The process overall is complicated, and not for the faint of heart. The children often carry institutional behaviors for years, if not forever, and many are considered "special needs". I understand it's scary. 

But, and it's a biggie, there are millions, an estimated 147+ million children worldwide, who need families. The latest statistic (U.S. Department of State) indicates only 8,668 international adoptions were completed in 2012. A measly .00005% found forever families in the U.S. There are also 104,000 children in U.S. foster care waiting to be adopted.

What gives?

I promise you, these kiddos will change you, challenge you and make you a better person. The experience will change your life, and your family's lives, forever. You will never be the same, and you'll be eternally grateful for it. You'll want to share the joy. You'll want to spread the word. You'll want to help those children left behind. Everyone should have the honor and privilege of adding to their family through the miracle of adoption.

I read a wonderful quote recently, "Blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood".

How blessed we are. How true it is.

I often wonder, why doesn't everyone adopt? I don't get it. 

Money is an obstacle, I get that. 

Unfamiliarity and fear of the process, I get that too. 

But, how can you place a dollar value or fear of paperwork on a child's life? A beautiful, innocent, precious child. 

These kiddos need families. More and more, I am consumed by that need. I have seen the impact. Nothing short of miraculous. Love changes lives.  

Adoption is a leap of faith, and it's not easy. I'll be honest, it's likely the toughest thing you'll ever do. But, it'll also be the most rewarding. 

It's life-changing, for everyone. People comment how "lucky" our children are. Folks, we are the lucky ones.

So, are we done?

Ohhhhh, how I long to journey again. It's often a daily struggle.  

But, our family is complete. It really, truly is. For that, I am grateful and blessed.  

We want to focus on our children, our family, and building the best life possible with each child individually, and collectively. 

My energy is shifting more to adoption advocacy. There is simply nothing I am more passionate about. My "work" is not done. I can't save them all. But, I can make a difference.

Please. From the bottom of my heart, please consider adoption or assisting orphans in some way. Don't allow the process or expense or fear of the unknown deter you. I promise, you can do it!

Life is choices, and adoption is a great one! In 12 months, you could be spending Valentine's Day with the most precious gift God ever created. 

Choose adoption. Choose love. Choose family.

Happy Valentine's Day!

rejoicing!

Lucy Mei's MRI was this morning.

.....and it was NORMAL.

Normal, as in, 100% absolutely perfect. 

There are 2 options to adopt from China: Non Special Needs and Special Needs.

Non Special Needs adoptions are a 6 year wait, if not longer. The wait is extending every year.

Lucy Mei was classified as Special Needs. Her identified need was a "cerebral hemorrhage".

When Lucy was abandoned, at approximately 1 month of age, a CT scan reportedly revealed a hemorrhage. At 18 months of age, a repeat scan did not confirm a hemorrhage.

We received Lucy's referral at 21 months of age. We consulted with a doctor at Cincinnati Children's Hospital International Adoption Clinic, Dr. Mary Staat (fabulous!!!!). Dr. Staat is the founding Director of the Clinic, and a fellow international adoptive Mama.

Dr. Staat felt strongly that due to Lucy's growth, development, photos and latest CT scan, she was likely "healthy", and possibly no hemorrhage ever existed. If a hemorrhage did exist, it likely healed with little, if any, implications.

However, she also warned that Lucy could experience delays (various, depending on location of the brain bleed) if a hemorrhage did occur. We did not have actual scans or know accuracy of the scans, the written reports or even the translation of the scans before accepting her referral.

We only knew her sweet face. And that she was our child.

Once we met our sweet Lucy Mei in person, we felt strongly her delays were very likely orphanage driven. The MRI was necessary to confirm our suspicions, but also to assist us in treating Lucy if a hemorrhage did exist.

We arrived at the hospital at 6 a.m. for a sedated head (with and without contrast) MRI.

The first major hurdle (besides no food/drink) was taking her vitals. The nurse gave her a super soft Teddy Bear and she loved it! Her first stuffed animal. :) She loved pointing out his body parts.

The next major hurdle was the IV. It took 4 of us to hold her down. Poor girl. Once it was in, she was good to go!

Then, it was off to the pediatrics playroom to wait for the MRI call. 

She loved this pop-up toy, Santa!

We LOVE her facial expressions!

The doctor administered Versed (a "relaxing" medication) into her IV once we were in radiology. It kicked in within seconds! She was a hoot!!! I was holding her and she rocked back and gave the biggest smiles. The nurse carried her into the MRI room, and we went to wait. 

After the MRI, Lucy was wheeled back to her room. It was strange seeing her sleeping without sucking her thumb. :(

The nurse said all went well. We took final vitals and waited for the Versed to wear off! :)

Shortly after leaving the hospital, our nurse from Cincinnati Children's called. I was shocked at how quickly they received our local hospital's report! 

She gave the most wonderful news: Lucy's MRI was completely normal!

I asked her to read the entire report.

Not a single item of concern or abnormality. She stated, IF there ever was a hemorrhage (healed or unhealed),  it VERY likely would have shown on the radiology report.

I was beyond relieved, grateful, over the moon happy! It felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted....and I sobbed. Actually pulled the van over because I couldn't drive through the tears.

Lucy Mei has been through so much in her short, precious life. It's good to put this behind us. We are very, very grateful.

Blessings,

1 week+ home!

Apologies for the long post. I have so much to say! What a week! :)

"So, how are things going?"

Honestly, pretty darned great!

Lucy had a busy first week+ home and we are getting to know our girl a lot better, every day.

I was off work last week and today. I'm very, very thankful for the one-on-one time with my girl. The plan, as of today, is for Lucy to start preschool on Monday, December 3rd. This is the same preschool that Ben attends, where all of our kiddos have attended. We think she'll do great, once she feels safe. :)

The kids were all at school and Greg was back to work. Jet lag was killer. We knew it would be. But, wowza. The general rule of thumb: 1 day of "recovery" for every hour in flight. So, 14 days for us! So sad. Greg and I have avoided naps to keep on schedule. But, Lil Miss Stinker kept us sleep deprived for a few nights. I am finally beginning to feel somewhat human again.

When not cocooning, we've been busy! Our outings so far:

Target. Had to. At some point, it's gotta happen. Last Tuesday. I was in withdrawal, and we needed "stuff" (like, child protective devices....I'll get to that later). She did great! Very social, saying "hello" to nearly everyone. She does get impatient; snacks (Gerber Puffs, Cheerios) are a must.  

Cincinnati Children's Hospital International Adoption Clinic. Last Wednesday, we left home at 4 a.m. for a 3 1/2 hour drive. Turning from Louisville towards Cincinnati we encountered a shut down interstate, adding about 2 hours to our drive. Lucy did great though. My parents were back on kid duty for the day. So thankful for their help!!!

The Clinic visit went well. Lucy is in the 60% for height and weight. Her height is 35 1/2 inches and her weight is 32 lbs. Regarding her special need, as identified by China in her paperwork. A sedated MRI will be performed in Evansville, in the coming weeks, and then we'll consult with our doctor in Cincinnati. We do not believe the special need is an issue (her CT scan in China @ 15 months was "normal") and likely has had little, if any, impact on her health or development.

Developmentally, the therapist categorized her gross motor skills and self-help skills (dressing, feeding herself, etc.) @ a 20 month level, her fine motor skills @ a 24 month level and speech @ a 16 month level. She is 30 months old. The doctor was very impressed that Lucy wakes up dry most days and pees in the potty. This is a very good sign, cognitively, for our girl.

The general rule of thumb on developmental delays for an institutionalized child is 1 month for every 3 months in the institutional environment. So, "normal" expected delays would place her at 20 months. The concern, at this point, is her excessively delayed speech. We will begin speech therapy in the next month or two, as our doctor recommended.

Personally, I don't feel she was spoken to, if at all, in the orphanage. Call it instinct or intuition, I just know. I knew from the first day we met her. She was very unfamiliar with communication. Speaking or receiving. She could interact with Warren and they could "communicate" (but it wasn't Chinese...). Honestly, it's like we plucked her from the jungle (well, not quite that bad....but, you get the idea). It's not clear to me our sweet girl has had any adult human interaction or stimulation of any kind.    

The doctor felt Lucy may have a slight hearing loss, contributing to her delay in speech. The doctor's initial assessment was based on a raspiness in her voice common to hearing impaired children. In addition, the doctor indicated her ear canals are 100% blocked with solid (like, as a rock) ear wax. We are consulting with an ENT in Evansville for an evaluation and also using an over the counter product, Debrox, which seems to be working! We saw a small bit of ear wax fall out yesterday! :) If Debrox doesn't work, she will likely need the wax surgically removed. Yikes.

It was a tough day for our sweet girl. She also received another TB shot. Doc indicated China does not administer the shots correctly. She also received Hib, Flu and Prevnar shots....and a blood draw that seemed to last an hour. Poor girl gave about 10 vials of blood. We also have to collect 3 stool samples, each 48 hours apart and mail back to the Clinic. Fun stuff.

We will return to our family physician in 1 month for her 2nd flu shot and any additional vaccinations needed from her blood draw analysis ("titers").

The doctor was also concerned that Lucy's right eye may be slightly "lazy". We also received the same comment from Ben's doctor when we brought him home. His ophthalmologist said it was fine. Apparently, "Asian" eyes sometime appear lazy due to the shape of their eyes and limited white space in their inner eye area. We have an ophthalmology exam scheduled in late December.

Lucy will also be examined by her pediatrician in early December for her new patient appointment and we will return to Cincinnati Children's Hospital in 6 months for a follow-up exam. Whew!

For those of you considering an International Adoption Clinic, I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Mary Staat and her team at Cincinnati Children's. Dr. Staat is OUTSTANDING. She is an adoptive parent herself and truly goes above and beyond.

Next stop on the activity train, our first Post Adoption home study visit. Thursday morning at 8:30 a.m. Thankfully, the other kiddos did not need to be present. Lucy was in a great mood. She had just woken up and was eating breakfast - eggs, oranges, toast and milk. We had to supply 8 photos and answer a lot of questions on her transition. The home study visits are a requirement from China.  All went well and the social worker thought Lucy seemed great. :)

Lucy and I also visited my office on Friday. My co-workers are like family and I couldn't wait for them to meet her. She was very quiet and shy, as I expected. She started to utter bye-bye towards the end (maybe happy to be leaving!?). She was very confused - standing in front of a large group of "non-Asian" people, staring at her. It was cute. What this girl must be thinking!?

We also stopped by the mall, briefly, for the kiddos' Christmas clothes. We need to work on our Christmas card photo (ugh!), which may, or may not, happen. She loved the mall (aka...anywhere in her stroller), as long as she has puffs to munch on.

After nap, it was off to the physician's office to have her TB test read. I couldn't locate Dr. Staat's paperwork, so the nurse couldn't "read" her results. So sad. I called Dr. Staat and she walked me through how to read the results myself. Awesome. Dr. Staat also updated me on the initial results of Lucy's blood draw. Looks great so far, needs a few vaccinations, but nothing uncommon. Said she has had the chicken pox.

Lucy has been doing so well, we decided to jump in and go to Friday night pizza with my family. I'm so glad we did. My parents and my sister and her family met us at a local pizza favorite, near our neighborhood. Lucy loved the cheese bread and pizza and sat quietly, soaking it all in. I can't wait for the day when she feels comfortable sharing her true personality and feisty spirit with our families -- to see her feeling safe and secure. This is a Friday night ritual for our family, and it felt so wonderful finally having Lucy Mei with us! :) 

Then, the granddaddy of all outings, (really, why wait?!) on Saturday morning.....Chuck-e-Cheese's. Seriously. It was my nephew's 7th birthday and they had delayed the party until Lucy came home. I was fearful she would be overwhelmed. She wouldn't let the hostess security stamp her hand, so she got a sticker on her back instead. She did great though. She rode a few Barney type car rides, but wouldn't go near the slides. She did go down a slide on my lap. Not confident enough to try herself. Mostly, she ate cheese pizza and white birthday cake. Again, she sat very patiently and was very well behaved. She waved at Chuck-E, but wasn't interested in giving any love. Who can blame her?!

Next on the never ending agenda, home for Christmas decorating. I wasn't sure I'd tackle it this year. You must understand my "mantra" in whatever I do, if a little is good, a LOT is really good. It's the OCD thang. So, needless to say, Christmas decorating is a major event. We spent all day/night and the "inside" is finished!!!! It looks great!!! We used green and red lights on the tree this year and the kids LOVE it. Also, one more beautiful stocking on the mantle. It feels great! Su-weeet!

I was vacuuming up pine needle mess and glanced at the clock. 5:49 p.m. 1 week home. Lucy was sitting at the table with the kids eating dinner, prepared by Sam! :) Greg was finishing the tree. I couldn't ask for a better week, a better life.

Sunday, yesterday, was Lucy's first visit to church. Again, she did very well. Overwhelmed by the attention and the constant bickering of her siblings for her attention. It's out of control. They all love her so much and constantly vie for her attention and laughter. Church was no exception. Greg held her most of mass and afterwards a few friends and parishioners approached....but, it was ok. Most read the blog, and know our girl is shy and fearful. :)

Then, Sunday evening was our city's annual Christmas parade. It's an annual tradition...and I'm all about that. So, off we went. Lucy sat in her stroller, and enjoyed a sucker Jack gave her. The parade participants throw candy at the kiddos, like we need candy. It was a beautiful night and one more event off Lucy's huge bucket list. Poor girl.

I've thoroughly enjoyed today (Monday) with my girl. Breakfast was cream of wheat, a huge apple and milk. We then ventured to the grocery store (her first visit) for Thanksgiving shopping. It was packed, but Lucy enjoyed riding in the "car" grocery cart and eating the fruit (or anything!) I placed in the cart. Stimulation overload. 

Back home for lunch of yogurt and Mac-n-cheese. Tried peanut butter sandwich....no go.

We then played for a while, tried to teach her to dance. Not into it. So sad. We walked the dog. She holds the leash and we walk around the block. She LOVES it. She also loves playing ball with Chezzy. He is in heaven!

Her favorite things to play with aren't toys. For example, I made place cards for dinner and breakfast....ok, hear me out....here's how it works:

Lucy Mei sits at the head of the table in her high chair....always. Last night, the remaining 6 people placed their names in a hat and drew a "starting position" around the table. Each evening, we will rotate, clockwise, 1 space. I know. Confusing. OCD. But, the kids LOVE IT. Everyone gets equal time sitting by Lucy at dinner and breakfast the following morning. Whew.

Anyway, I made/set the place cards and set them on the table. Lucy collected them and loved playing with them....for like an hour! Cracks me up! She also loves medicine measuring cups. 

Next was nap...and Mommy blog time. :)

A few thoughts on Lucy's homecoming, transition and adjustment....

Siblings:

The first few nights were hard....and still kinda are. The kids were CRAZY competing for her attention and she was overwhelmed. We learned she likes Lego's - especially knocking them down. She's a little rough, but definitely improving!!! She watches the other kids play and tries to imitate. Slowly, she has started to respond to their affection and it warms my heart!!!

She has taken to Sam very well. He is nearly my size and can pick her up and nurture her like an adult. He is in heaven! He loves snuggling with her, and she with him. :) He carries her around and comforts her a lot. He's a great big brother and such a sweetheart. He knew she liked the "fried dough sticks" in China, so he made them for her homecoming. They didn't turn out great, but it's the thought. Love.

She LOVES playing "baby dolls" with Ellie. Lucy has also taken to Ellie's nurturing spirit, as well. They are soooo cute together. Lucy follows her around and is very intrigued by her silliness and physical antics. They have colored together, read books, practiced walking up/down the stairs - and played lots of "baby". Ellie is a great "mother hen" and Lucy is very drawn to her.

Jack is finding his way. His sidekick, Ellie, is now drawn to a new person and he's feeling a little displaced. We are very aware of this and working diligently to ensure he feels included. He's a little too "in your face" for Lucy at the moment, but he loves her dearly. In time. Lucy has started holding Jack's hand and likes to roughhouse with him. Jack is so gentle with her, but they fire each other up and she goes with it. Belly laughs and all! Last night the 3 of us laid on the sofa and Lucy was very comfortable with Jack. She kept pointing to his nose, ears, eyes, mouth....and rubbing his belly saying, "sooooft".

Ben, well, he is the sweetest thing ever. He is sooooo excited "my Lucy Mei" will be attending his preschool soon. They are nearly identical in size. Lucy has hit him a few times....and Ben doesn't retaliate. He tells me "it's ok Mommy, Lucy Mei is learning how to play". He is more interested in me being home, than Lucy Mei's arrival. :) They sat next to each other in the car yesterday and held hands. Be still my heart!

Sleep:

Nearly always a huge issue for internationally adopted kiddos. Lucy spent the first night in the pack-n-play next to my bed, me holding her hand. Painful and impractical, to say the least. 2nd night was the crib in her room (shared with big sister, Ellie - but, Ellie in the basement with Daddy temporarily) and a new nightlight. Greg put her down for bed while I was tucking in the boys. As I was walking by her room, I heard her (or someone?) banging on the door. I asked Greg if he actually placed her in the crib - or in his jet leg dazed fog - he "missed" the crib??? Ha! He said he definitely placed her in the crib. We couldn't believe she got out!!!!

So, Greg ran downstairs to grab the video monitor. I placed her back in the crib and closed the door. She was out of the crib in less than 3 seconds. She literally placed one hand on the railing and hurdled over. A future Olympian, I tell ya! This girl is determined and strong. Love her!

So, now what?

We tied a sheet over her bed (as a tent) and she fell asleep...with plans to purchase a mesh "tent" for the crib the following morning. As I was doing research, I learned these are a severe safety hazard. Greg went up and removed the sheet. The new plan, a toddler bed and gate (hence, the Target run).

The toddler bed was very difficult for her the first few nights. She would continually get out (like a hundred times), with her blanket in tow, and lay down by the door. I would continually check the video monitor. If she was out of bed, I would go in and instruct her to move to "Lucy's bed". She did. She understood! Good first step. We also had to duct tape the light switches so she wasn't sleeping in the light. Ellie was continuing to sleep in the basement with Greg during these transition nights.

Finally, after several days of naps and bedtimes in her bed, she's doing great and Ellie is sleeping back in her room! Last night, I laid the girls down and Lucy cried for a bit. We looked in the monitor and Ellie was at her side consoling her. Then, she was ok and off to sleep. She LOVES having Ellie in the room with her. No night terrors or waking up. She's a great sleeper! :) Biggest CHECK of all!!!!

Chezzy, the dog:

Initially, Lucy was extremely fearful. Now, they are great buds! Cracks me up! Darn. She looks for him! They chase each other and she always makes this "lip smacking" sound when she points to him. Not sure what that's about?? She even likes to hold the leash and run with him through the yard. Looks like he's here to stay. So sad. She pets him all the time. Most attention he's ever had!

Communication:

The words we understand clearly - Mama, Baba (Chinese for Dad), up, please, baby, hi, bye bye. She tries to repeat almost everything we say. We can distinguish a few words, but most sound the same. She signs for "finished" and "more".

She is able to understand a LOT of what we say. She finds a way to communicate with us through pointing, or tugging at her highchair when she's hungry, or tugging at her diaper when she's pottied (or even before she potties!). She helps herself to a sippy cup from the drawer when she's thirsty. She sucks her thumb, playing piano on her nose, and rubs her eyes when she's sleepy. :)

Pottying:

She is dry most of the time. It's clear she would "squat" when using the potty in China. We will sit her on the potty and nada. She will get up, hold our legs facing us (initially not sure why) and squat - and pee. Fortunately, the pooping has been contained to her diaper or the potty. We are in no hurry. We just want to do what makes her comfortable....and we're not sure what that is, yet.

1 week home thoughts:

This girl is amazing. She is beautiful, sweet, playful, funny, silly, happy and extremely fearful of new people and new environments....and going to bed alone. She is fun!! She LOVES to make silly faces. Yesterday, as I was in the office, she was peeking around the corner and waiting for me to see her. Then, she would break out into a full giggle and silly face. Seriously. Could she be any cuter!??

Sadly, the transition for Ben was rough. He tantrumed for control nearly every waking hour for a few months. Lucy rolls with it. Ben has come a loooonng way. Like, nearly a complete 180. All kids handle the transition differently. We are so thankful she appears to be adjusting well, for now. :) We know the journey has just begun though. Her cries, although rare, are sheer terror. Breaks my heart.

She is extremely easy to distract and satisfy. Her laughter is infectious and her smile will melt your heart. It takes over her entire face! Loving her 3rd dimple! She has bonded extremely well to Greg and I....and she's come a very long way in 1 week+ with her siblings....and the dog.

Honestly, I couldn't ask for anything better in the way of transition. The jet lag is nearly gone for all of us and she's beginning to feel very comfortable without Greg or me in her sight. She loves to learn, she's very curious and interested in new things. We can see her confidence building every day. She definitely understands "no" now, and responds appropriately! Check!!!!!

She's also showing more signs of wanting to please. For instance, at lunch today - she was eating Mac-n-cheese with her fingers. I told her to use her fork or spoon. I was in the kitchen and I saw her sneaking it in with her fingers. I said, "Lucy Mei"....in a "you're busted" kind of tone. Poor girl broke into a silent cry, chewing on her fingers, tears flowing. God love her! It was so pitiful. It's a great sign of bonding though. She has such a gentle heart.

To truly appreciate how far she's come, it's important to understand where she came from. Factually, we know very little. The orphanage did not allow us beyond the outer gates. On the exterior, it did appear nice. Our guide indicated only the "nice" orphanages allow visitors inside. I couldn't bear to think about what that meant.

Last week, Warren's parents received 60 new photos from the orphanage. They had sent disposable cameras with care packages and developed the photos upon returning home. The photos included a few photos of Lucy bear-hugging Warren! Sooooo sweet, those two!!!!

We also developed about 25 photos from the camera we sent. Lucy was wearing split pants in all the photos (both Warren's photos and ours -- despite being told by the orphanage she wore diapers). The photos from Warren's family included all indoor shots vs. ours included all outdoor shots.

I must be honest, I was shocked. It was beyond heartbreaking to see.

I had heard very good things about this orphanage, but the fact of the matter is, it's an orphanage. From the first day with Lucy in China, I knew. The care she and Ben received were DRASTICALLY different. It could be boy vs. girl. It could be the caregivers. Regardless, in my opinion, Lucy was not lovingly cared for, not even close.

The photos included cold walls and floors - all hard surfaces (concrete, tile), bars on the windows, paint chipping off the old, worn walls. Large rooms filled with no toys, no books, no stimulation of any kind. In one of the photos, the only "toy" was a 7-up bottle. The kids looked sad, disheveled, unkempt. The cribs had "mobile" type fixtures. But, instead of spinning animals, they were wrapped with sheets or straps of some kind, presumably, for securing the children in/to the crib. The outdoor play area was overgrown with weeds. I suspect it was used very little. 

It was depressing. It was sad. It kicked my gut.

As I was beginning to type this post yesterday morning, Lucy Mei was belly laughing and wrestling Jack on our warm, carpeted floor. The kids were arguing over who "gets" her next! The dog was mixed in the chaos. Greg was trying to referee. I just kept thinking....life is good. Very, very good.

A most blessed Thanksgiving to all.

P.S. Photos to come, soon!

Blessings,

 

home, sweet home!

It's so good to be home.

Our journey home was long, but uneventful! As you may recall, I wrote an entire coming home post for Ben's journey! What a trip!!!

Fortunately, Lucy Mei's journey went as expected....when traveling with a 2 year old. No major melt-downs. Just lots of snacks, drinks and restlessness.

We received Lucy's Visa (Yay!!!) and left for Hong Kong in our van on Friday at 4:15 p.m., as scheduled. After a 3 hour drive (heavy traffic) and an odd change in drivers/vehicles and a "laser" gun (?) pointed at our foreheads in immigration, we arrived at our airport hotel. Hong Kong is BEAUTIFUL. The lights, scenery - mountains, water. Gorgeous.

The Regal hotel was expensive (no internet or free breakfast), but convenient and very large rooms (with a nice crib). We faced the runway and water/mountains, Lucy enjoyed watching the planes from the huge windows in the morning. 

We ordered room service ($60 - Hong Kong is not cheap! Food was great! Pasta and one last TsingTao for me. No Chinese food for a very loooong time!) and we were quickly to sleep. The next morning at 9 a.m. we called the porter who loaded our bags on an airport trolley while we checked out. We literally walked an aisle and made a left into the airport. Very convenient!!!

We checked in at Cathay Pacific very easily and then saw Warren & family checking in at United!!! We got to say a final goodbye, again. LOVE them! They are a hoot and made our journey so enjoyable. Great "groupies"!!!

First on the agenda, breakfast for Lucy Mei. When this girl wants to eat, she wants to EAT! We finally found a bakery, and I purchased a chocolate muffin. She spit it out. Obviously NOT a fan of chocolate. Soooo sad. A banana held her over.....while I went to Popeye's for chicken tenders and fries. She LOVES fries. No judging. Desperate cries, desperate times, desperate measures.

Well, she wouldn't touch the chicken...only the fries. 

So, I removed the fries until she ate some chicken. Melt down ensued, Greg doesn't like it....thinks I should give in. I probably should have. But, it's hard for me. We leave the restaurant. Lucy keeps crying and finally points to the chicken. Eats about 8 large chicken strips. Girlfriend was hungry. Mama feels better. :) A few fries later, she was full.

Then it was off to find flight "snacks". Anything to keep her happy. Gummy bears, chips, etc. Dread and fear settling in. I sooooo did not want a repeat of Ben's flight.

Loved Cathay Pacific!!!! Awesome!!!! Fantastic legroom, movie selection outstanding, free coloring and sticker bags for the kiddos and best of all, free wine and beer!!! :) Just sayin'.

We had 3 seats on the side. Lucy Mei sat in the middle and I was by the window. It was a 14.5 hour flight and Lucy slept the last 4 hours (only). I slept a few hours and poor Greg, about 10 minutes. Lucy was restless, and cried a few times. But, for the most part, she was excellent. Just a handful. :)

Greg and I each watched 3 or 4 movies so the time passed somewhat quickly. We left at 11:50 a.m. China time and arrived in Chicago around the same time, same day. Figure that one out. Ha! A 14 hour time difference and a 14 hour flight. Jet lag is killer. It was 2 a.m. China time and we were zombies.

We made it easily through immigration and Lucy Mei was officially an American citizen!!! Yay!!

We then rechecked out bags on American for the flight to Evansville and departed the International terminal. Greg's Aunt Maxine (who lives in Chicago) was waiting for us! It was sooooo sweet! She had a little sign for Lucy and a Panda necklace. Lucy wouldn't wear it and threw the Panda box on the ground....I'm sure she'll appreciate it later! Thanks Max!!! :)

Max also brought a car that moves by balloons! (I had blogged earlier that Lucy loves cars and balloons!). Plus, she brought fresh apples and grapes! Yummy! Lucy, tired beyond comprehension, was interested in Max but not her usual, happy self. It was a short visit though, Max couldn't enter the Domestic terminal, so we had to part ways. We look forward to you visiting Evansville soon, and thanks so much for welcoming us home! 

Lucy had her biggest traveling home melt down going through Chicago security, because we had to remove her shoes and take her out of the stroller. Poor girl was beyond tired. The security guards were sweet and offered her a sticker. Lucy has no idea what stickers are....seriously, she has never seen one. She took it off and threw it on the ground. I explained the shoe thing (from an orphanage, shoes are her stroller are security, etc.) and they were so nice and congratulatory. She was quickly quieted once her shoes and stroller were back in place.  

Next stop was the potty and coffee! Lucy was dry, again, and peed on the potty! Seriously, this girl is nearly trained! Yay! Not an accident during a 14.5 hour flight! Whooo hooo! 

We waited about 90 minutes for our flight to Evansville and nearly all fell asleep. Lucy wanted no part of me at this point. Not sure why - but, she was all about Baba. Made me sad, but also happy.

Our Evansville flight boarded on time - a 50 minute flight! We all slept and arrived CRAZY excited to see our family and kiddos!!!!

We were the last ones off the plane (seated in the very back). Greg packed the stroller with all of our carry-ons at deboarding and I held Lucy Mei.

We entered our little airport (like, only 2 gates total!), headed up the escalator........and saw everyone immediately!!! Ohhhh, whatta feeling!!!

I think I started to run. I know I was crying, and waving, and Lucy was confused.

The first person I saw was Jack Jack. Front and center, wearing his new Purdue shirt (one of his daily "China gifts" that Greg must have bought him!). He looked so handsome!!!! - and big! A HUGE grin on his sweet little face. I hugged him immediately.....ugly cry setting in. Oh, how I love my kiddos. It's all a blur, but I think Benny was next. He hugged me and asked why I was crying! Kid cracks me up! Then Sammy and Ellie....or maybe Ellie and Sammy. I need to watch the video! Regardless, lots of hugs, kisses and cries.

Lucy Mei did great!! No crying. Just soaking it all in....thumb in her mouth, mostly. Pointing occasionally. Overwhelmed by it all.

We had a huge crowd of welcomers! My parents, of course. My sister, Holly, her husband, Kevin and their kiddos - Connor, Sophie and Lucas. My brother, John, his wife, Amy, and their 4 kiddos - Vincent, Katlynn, Dylan and Trenton. My Uncle Butch, Aunt Linda and 2 of their grandchildren - Emily and Devin. Our next door neighbor and our great friend, Amy and her 4 kiddos - Drew, Lizzy, Anna and Emily. Our close family friends, Justin and Lanae. Quite a group!!!! 

It was so touching to come over the escalator and see this huge crowd of people. People we love so dearly. It was such an emotional and tiring journey. To know so many people came to welcome our sweet Lucy home meant the world to us. We will always remember each and every one of you. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you!!!

Lucy immediately bonded with Sam....even letting him pick her up and put her in the stroller! Ben was also trying to push her in the stroller. First hints there was going to be conflict for her attention. :)

Unfortunately, we couldn't visit long. We were exhausted and needed a little "family" time before bed.

Sam put Lucy in her car seat in the 3rd row, and buckled her in. No problems! Sam sat next to Lucy, and Ben on the other side. They both held her hand on the way home. Sam commented how fat her fingers are! Cracks me up. They are so chubby! Jack sat in the middle row in front of Lucy Mei (closest to his Mama! :). Ellie and Greg took my parents home in the other van.

Lucy walked in and was immediately introduced to Chezzy, the dog. The dog then "happy peed" all over Lucy and the floor. Soooo sad. Lucy, was not, and is not, a fan.

Coming home, like with Ben, was utter chaos. The kids are wired and crazy about seeing us and especially their new sister. They were each vying for her affection and attention. Immediately, they wanted to give her a tour of the house and their rooms. So sweet, so overwhelming.

We decided to give the kids a bath first and then eat dinner. Lucy loves baths and we thought it would be a good icebreaker.

They all piled in (well, not Sam) and Ellie's first comment (in a whisper to me), "Mommy, she has the same pee-pee as me!". Hmmm....I asked her if she thought it would be different??? She said, "Yes Mommy, she's Chinese". Hmmmm......what?! Cracked us up! Greg and I are thinking that maybe because Ben's was "different" than Jack's (if you know what I mean), she expected Lucy's to be different? Anyway, it was quite a hoot!!! Ellie is quite relieved, all is well.

Lucy did great in the bath, but she was fading fast. We quickly finished and headed down for dinosaur chicken nuggets and apple sauce. Hey, we're in survival mode. No judging!

After a quick dinner and some cheese balls (a VERY special - "while we are in China only" treat), the kids cuddled on the sofa for awhile and watched TV....great bonding....for a few minutes. Then, BED!!! Finally!!!! 

We thought we'd try Lucy in her crib (she's sharing a room with Ellie). Lucy cried for 15 minutes or so. I would go in every few minutes to pat her back, reassure her. She finally went to sleep. In China, she slept in a crib directly next to our beds. If she cried, I would reach out to her. It was very comforting for her to know we were there. I wasn't sure how this new arrangement was going to work.

Around 12:30 a.m., the crying started. Greg went up to rub her back and settle her down. It didn't help. Eventually, we moved her to the pack-n-play next to my side of the bed. I literally spent the night with my hand hanging over the side of the pack-n-play, for her to hold, which she did. Poor girl. Poor Mommy. Not the most comfortable position, and very little sleep for me.

We woke up around 8 a.m. on Sunday and the kids were fired up! They couldn't wait to see Lucy Mei. She was very happy, but again, cautious - soaking it all in. Breakfast was Cheerios and banana....the kids helped (fought) to feed her.

Sam was singing in the church choir at 10:30 a.m. Way too early to introduce Lucy to church and new people, etc. So, I took Sam while Greg stayed home with the kids to play and bond. Lucy opened up to Ellie with coloring and holding her hand walking up/down the stairs. 

Ellie and Sam keep saying how cute she is. Ellie even said, "She's way cuter than I thought she would be!". Ha! Ben is not interested, at this point. He's just very happy I "came back". Jack is trying so hard, and not understanding why Lucy won't talk to him or hold his hand. He and Ellie each approached me separately yesterday with worry that Lucy Mei doesn't talk to them or play with them. It's so hard for the littles to understand. In time. This too shall pass, hopefully, soon! 

Sam and I arrived home and it was lunch time. The kids ate (Lucy even ate turkey!) and then Lucy Mei and Ben needed to nap. Lucy slept from 12:30 - 5:00 p.m., in her crib!!! Sweet girl needed to rest, the jet lag and change and over stimulation are completely overwhelming for her.

Sam and Ellie played outside with the neighbor friends and I played inside with Jack....who was needing some Mama time, and I happily obliged! :) We played "Chutes & Ladders", drank hot cocoa, played Lego's, pictionary, colored and made cupcakes! Whew!

My mom stopped by for a while to "rehash". My parents thoroughly enjoyed watching the kids! They said it was much easier than they thought!!! Wow! They developed some "house rules" that we will be carrying on! They also created a "good list" which had 31 items on it! We reviewed the list with the kids on Saturday night and they were so proud!!! Greg and I are so proud of how they behaved. We love the time they got to spend with my parents and they seemed to thoroughly enjoy it. Praise the Lord!!!

We finally woke Lucy Mei up from her nap, around 5 p.m. Jack went with me and she was so happy to see him! He loved it!!! She pointed at him and said, "Jack"....in her own, unrecognizable way! It was bath time again. She wasn't as interested this time. The kids may be scaring her a little. They expect her to know English and they're very touchy, feely, loving. She just needs more time. Greg got Papa Murphy's pizzas (which she/we love) and it was off to bed for the littles.

I put Lucy in the crib again, and she cried. We told Ellie she could stay up for a while until Lucy fell asleep. After about 15 minutes, Lucy was out. She slept very well until 12:24 a.m. Not that I'm counting.

Greg headed back to work today and the kids are all in school. So, I was on Lucy duty.

This poor girl cried from 12:24 a.m. until after 3 a.m. Greg moved the video/talking monitor into her room earlier in the day so I could sing and talk to her, if needed, to calm her fears. It worked sometimes. Eventually, she'd be back to crying. I rubbed her back a few times and that always calmed her down. But, I can't always do that. She needs to feel safe, and I know that takes time.

Greg and Ellie eventually moved to the basement....and both, thankfully, had a great night's sleep. I had about 4 hours total. Blogging now while Lucy sleeps. It is 10:07 a.m.

Today, is Lucy Mei and Mommy day. Hopefully, a quiet and relaxing one. I definitely have chores (laundry, unpacking, grocery, etc.) to tend to. But, for the most part, me and my girl will be chilling.

After living in an orphanage her entire life - and awakening on 10/29 to a 3 hour van trip to a new city - meeting complete strangers and saying goodbye to everything and everyone she's ever known. Then, traveling to and staying overnight in 4 cities (Zhengzhou, Guangzhou, Hong Kong and Evansville) with 4 new beds and routines. Experiencing 3 major bus/van/taxi/car trips, countless bus trips/appointments, 3 flights and even a river cruise! Traveling half-way around the world and meeting a ton of new people, none who speak her language. This poor girl, 2 1/2 years old, is spent.

Greg and I are taking her to Cincinnati Children's Hospital on Wednesday for her International Adoption medical evaluation. We are leaving at 4 a.m. My parents will be watching the kiddos again. Another long day. No worries at this point though. We suspect her "special need" is no longer a need. We will elaborate more once we receive information. Praying for positive, healthy results.

We also have our first social worker post placement visit this week.

Lucy will also be enrolling in the same preschool as Ben. We need a few weeks to settle in with her at home. Greg and I will be using our remaining vacation days until we're comfortable she is ready. I plan to introduce her to the school in small increments, like I did with Ben.....and he did great!!!! We are hoping for the same with Lucy, although we understand she is a different personality.

She is such a sweet, sweet girl. It will take time. She's not the only one experiencing major life change. Our friend asked me yesterday, "How long did it take Ben to settle in, to feel secure, to know this is his home?"......I said, "A year, maybe longer". It's the truth.

It's a loooonng process. We have added a spirited 2 1/2 year old to our family. There will be a lot of ups and realistically, a lot more downs. We will all need to adjust. New routines, family/life changes (Ben no longer the baby, Ellie no longer the only girl and sharing a room). It's a LOT of work for ALL of us. But, we know we will get there....and we'll have fun along the way! Ben has changed so much in just the past few months. Ohhhh Benny Boo Boo. How we love you. From his perspective, his comfort and security and place in our family are very, very strong now. But, it took time and effort and lots and lots of love for him to feel on equal footing as the other kiddos. The adoption "journey" doesn't end when you set foot in America.    

The first night home, Saturday evening, after the kids were all in bed. I broke down. After cuddling with Jack in his bed for 20 minutes or so (because he asked me to :), and kissing all the kiddos goodnight, I couldn't take it. My love and appreciation for each of them is overwhelming and so powerful. I feel like the luckiest Mom in the entire world.

A lot of work, yes. Worth every second, ABSOLUTELY!!!

 

last post from china!!!

Well, this is it. We leave in 2 hours for Hong Kong. Bags are packed and Lucy Mei is napping. :)

Last night was Papa John's with Warren's family...and it was actually quite good! Tasted just like the good 'ol US of A! We ate outside by the kids' playground so the kiddos could let off some "steam". Warren, as always, was fired up and entertaining us all! Love that kid!!  

Another Lucy Mei first tonight: she let someone other than Greg and I hold her. Georgette and I were walking with the kids over a bridge near the playground and Lucy must have gotten scared. I was ahead of her, so she put her arms out to Georgette, who carried her back to the playground!!! YAY!!!!

No livin' on the "dangerous side" tonight. We were all tired. It was an early night - asleep by 7:30 p.m.!

Lucy Mei started to stir around 7 a.m., waking me up! LOVED catching up with a good night's rest! I guess Greg "worked" for a few hours in the middle of the night though. We're not thinking the Papa John's liked Lucy Mei very much. Her pants were a mess. Yuck. Off for a quick bath.

Breakfast buffet, last time. Lucy is going to miss the fried noodles and fried dough sticks. So sad. Cheerios and oatmeal await her at home. Sam and Ellie facetimed us while eating....but, the connection was very bad. We hurried through breakfast to skype with them from the room.

Jack and Ben were already asleep. Mom indicated all the kids have been great! Ben and Jack like to hide from her under the covers. Glad to know they are playing well together! :) Jack's teacher even emailed to say he is doing great and can't wait to meet his little sister! :)

Ellie and Sam seemed great!! Ellie is going to LOVE having a sister. She is sooooooo excited!! She kept telling Lucy how cute she is and making kisses. Mom said, "Lucy Mei is feisty!". She's got that right! Lucy loved making faces at the kids and trying to say their names. Ohhhh, I can't wait!!!

Warren's family knocked at the door (on their way to breakfast) so we waved 'em on in. They got to meet my Mom, Ellie and Sam. Warren had never skyped before and was freaked out by the whole thing! It was funny!

Another BIG first for our sweet girl today: we have been telling her "no" or using the Chinese saying (which sounds strangely like boo yah!) and she normally just smiles at us, or completely ignores us, and keeps doing it (normally playing with the toilet, the iphones, the computer, etc.). She definitely understands us....she just doesn't care. So sad.

Anyway, today I was sitting at Greg's computer (checking Facebook) and she wanted to sit on my lap. I told her, "Ok, but no touches. If you touch, you have to get down". Trust me, she understands. She started touching the keys. I then told her, "Ok, Mama said no touches. Now you have to get down.". I placed her beside me.

A few seconds later I looked over at her, and was standing there with her bottom lip stuck out and crying quietly. It was sooooo sad. The first time she has shown any "correction concern".....as I like to call it. Ha! There is hope!!!! :)

After another Lucy Mei blow-out and change of clothes, we met our entire group (minus a family that left for home yesterday) at 10:30 a.m. in the lobby for a last stroll through the park. It's a huge, Central Park type park, located across from our hotel. It's beautiful and very crowded.

Our huge group was quite a site. All 20 or so adults, plus all the kiddos. We stopped for an orchestra/band that was playing. They LOVED performing for us and many were videotaping us videotaping them! Ha! They played "Jingle Bells", "Auld Lang Syne" and a few other songs. It was so sweet!!!

We then walked by the lake so the kiddos could feed the koi. We sat on benches and a Chinese woman offered Lucy Mei some fish food. Lucy took a piece and put it in her mouth! YUCK. Thankfully, she spit it out quickly. The other families ate Subway....we weren't hungry and still recall our last bad experience with Subway on Ben's trip. Yuck, yuck.

It was VERY humid here today. No breeze at all. Warmest day by far. So weird to know it's almost Thanksgiving back home and it feels like summer here!!!

Lucy was great at the park. She even tried a piece of another Mom's Subway turkey sandwich! This girl is really branching out!! Ha! It was time to head back to the hotel to pack and Lucy to nap. After another messy diaper (hoping it's the last one today!), she was ready for "nighty night".

Our journey home will be long. Very, very long. Like, 20 hours from Hong Kong to Evansville. We will arrive in Evansville at 5:50 p.m. (or 7:50 a.m. China time). Soooo, if we look a little ragged in the "coming home" photos/video, you'll know why!! We are hoping to sleep on the flight from Hong Kong to Chicago. We know Lucy will need to to nap. Even a few hours for us will make a huge difference.

This girl is something else. Truly. Her sweet, sweet spirit, her spunk, her sass, her stunning beauty. Her playfulness, her love and trust in us. She is inspiration and strength, defined.

She loves to give kisses and hugs and run to us. She is restless and cranky when tired - and quite a spitfire when she is both of those, and doesn't get her way. The tantrums are over quickly, and almost funny to watch. God love her! We have enjoyed every minute with her and can't believe we get to spend the rest of our lives with her!  

A lot of people have asked how Lucy and Ben are alike and/or different. That could be an entirely new post, but honestly, it's irrelevant. They are each very unique individuals. Vaguely similar beginnings to life and a shared birth country. But, suffice to say, one thing is for certain - they are both Schultzs through and through - just as God intended.  

Our next post will hopefully be the "homecoming". :) I will try and keep everyone updated on Lucy's transition and meeting her family. Greg, of course, will keep posting photos! So, check back and stay-tuned. Thanks again to everyone for following - your prayers and well wishes are, and have been, greatly appreciated.

Lastly, a HUGE thank you to my parents for watching our kiddos...and the crazy dog. We couldn't have done it without you. LOVE YOU THE WHOLE WORLD!!!! XOXOXO

Blessings,